Comedy In Education Pillows

It's good to expand successful schools, but isn't there a danger of over-extending the catchment area.

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

"He wants to study bacteria to relate to the counter culture."

Math Teacher

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

'People, get a half-life!'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

"I'm sorry, but your child just isn't very sharp. But don't worry. It's perfectly natural."

"Look at her...Gracie is intelligent, optimistic, ambitious..I wish she was one more thing."

Geography class - UR Here.

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

'I'm taking the 'learn from my mistakes' approach to education.'

'We don't know what this is called'

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

'This not exactly what I had in mind when I told him about the birds and the bees.'

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

"And then after high school, I spent twelve years in college and majored in procrastination."

'That's from the last year the data was available.'

"OK, who can tell me why it's important to know stuff."

'Fortunately, I'm not driven by a deep need for validation.'

Molecules You Ought To Be Aware of: