Comedy Dining Adventurer Gifts

'Have you found contact lenses in your soup?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"Did you order the flying jalapeños?"

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

'How was the squid?'

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

"A table in Siberia, please."

'Okay, so it's not a violin, but he is playing our song.'

Who had the cod, and who had the flying fish?

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

"May we see your kids' menu please?"

Today: Tomato Surprise. Of course the tomato surprise doesn't impress you, sir … You’re not a tomato.

'Your bill sir.'

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

'I just come here for the ambiance. The food's lousy, so ordered a pizza be delivered.'

Menu. Everything looks so delicious! Thank you!

"Oh, we've been a theme restaurant for about a month now."

"How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?"

"Going early was a good idea. So was bringing our own bottle of wine, While we're on the subject, so was the wheel."

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiters attention."

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

"And for your entree, sir?"

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

"We call this Casual/Retro dining. You get up and make your own PB&J back in the kitchen."

'I'll have the frogs legs - and make sure they're kneeling.'

There's a strange mist over my food. You never heard of pea soup fog?

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"Would you like any suburbs, or just the check?"