Comedy Dining Adventurer Pillows

'Have you found contact lenses in your soup?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"Did you order the flying jalapeños?"

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

'How was the squid?'

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

'Okay, so it's not a violin, but he is playing our song.'

"A table in Siberia, please."

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

"May we see your kids' menu please?"

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

'Your bill sir.'

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

'I just come here for the ambiance. The food's lousy, so ordered a pizza be delivered.'

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"Oh, we've been a theme restaurant for about a month now."

"Going early was a good idea. So was bringing our own bottle of wine, While we're on the subject, so was the wheel."

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiters attention."

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

'I'll have the frogs legs - and make sure they're kneeling.'

"We call this Casual/Retro dining. You get up and make your own PB&J back in the kitchen."

"How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?"

'Anchovies.'

"Would you like any suburbs, or just the check?"