Dining Adventurers Pillows

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

'Are these turtle eggs?'

I'll have the tossed salad.

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Garlic Free Zone.

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

'How was the squid?'

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

'Okay, so it's not a violin, but he is playing our song.'

"A table in Siberia, please."

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

Picasso

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

'Your bill sir.'

"Excuse me but it's our food, can you make it sexy?"

"The woman who ordered the poulet chasseur would like to come in and rap about it."

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

Arabian Cuisine

"Waiter - there's a fly in my soup."

"I'm using this travel site to map out a trip to the land of Everything's Deep Fat Fried."

"Going early was a good idea. So was bringing our own bottle of wine, While we're on the subject, so was the wheel."

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiters attention."

"We call this Casual/Retro dining. You get up and make your own PB&J back in the kitchen."

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

"Oh, we've been a theme restaurant for about a month now."

"...And just what is wrong with deviled ham and deviled eggs?"

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

In the Works: Eurocheese, Eurobread, Eurowine.

'Anchovies.'