Comedy Carpenter Gifts

Cubits? Haven't You gone metric yet?

"I've fixed the shelf, darling."

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

Do it yourself books.

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

Christopher Isherwood

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

Lumber Yard. Luxury Homes! Some Assembly Required.

"That explains all the cavities."

Building a better America - Financing by The Bank of China.

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

'Anything need fix'n around here? I mean besides the lamp I just broke.'

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

'I just don't understand what the big deal is about kiln dried lumber.'

"We had to put three screws in his neck and a steel plate in his head."

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

"Sorry Capt., but it's a pretty bad termite infestation..."

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

"It's garage music."

"Like THAT's ever going to work!"

For the third time that week somebody had super-glued the manager to his seat. It was great for team morale.

Poorly planned Chanukah crafts

Interpretive Dental Hygiene

Scaffolding being put together by glue.

Super Homeworld

"You like woodwork class then, son?"

"Hold on, one more thing to go."

'That's not what I meant when I asked you to add a second bathroom, Roger.'