Comedy Captain Gifts

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"Sorry Capt., but it's a pretty bad termite infestation..."

'Closer... closer...'

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

'Did you mark the place we caught those fish last year? Yes, I put a cross on the side of the boat.' - 'You fool. We might get a different boat this time.'

Man photographing fish through magnifying glass

'Quick! sell me a lure,any lure,I just found an empty compartment in my tackle box.'

For the third time that week somebody had super-glued the manager to his seat. It was great for team morale.

"For the trip, I also got us two of each kind of donut."

'Play it again, Sam.'

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

"Look, there's even more buttons and stuff up there."

"I've fixed the shelf, darling."

"I know it's a pie in the sky, Henshaw, but from a career perspective point of view we'll log it in as 'unidentified small aircraft'."

Sportknitting

'I'm a bit suspicious of that Trojan Clothes horse.'

'You daft cow...I said I needed some company and was out for a duck!'

Colin attempts to be useful around the house didn't always have the desired effect.

Cloning...Oops! Oxelot.

'At least the bigger prop gives us more thrust.'

Cubits? Haven't You gone metric yet?

"Student driver"

'It's OK, being completely egocentric is perfectly normal for someone your age.'

'And the gold medal goes to...'

Containment Cops

'Listen, I know that nose was what made me famous, but it also led to me being typecast. I'm hoping this change helps me get more diverse roles.'

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

'Our office is on the 14th floor, Peters... you should forget about rising sea levels.'

May I get a little extra recess time, Ma'am? I've got to hunt and crush my lunch!

"Why do you keep saying MY pride is going to get the best of me?"

'Sorry about the screaming during that air pocket, back there.'

A pirate fishes using his hook.

Small boat pulling up a ship's anchor.

'Guess who?'