Comedic Captain Gifts

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

'At least the bigger prop gives us more thrust.'

'So much for your new Satnav!'

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

Diving Cat.

'They're right.polorized sunglasses do help you see better underwater.'

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

"I know it's a pie in the sky, Henshaw, but from a career perspective point of view we'll log it in as 'unidentified small aircraft'."

Sportknitting

For the third time that week somebody had super-glued the manager to his seat. It was great for team morale.

Colin attempts to be useful around the house didn't always have the desired effect.

"Sorry Capt., but it's a pretty bad termite infestation..."

'Because I don't want you to be part of the decision - making process, that's why!'

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

Man fights with his shadow.

'Our office is on the 14th floor, Peters... you should forget about rising sea levels.'

Why Men Get Angry and Why Women Get Angry

'We're lost - I told ye to take the low road.'

"I wasn't texting while driving. I was driving while texting."

Big Mouthed Boat about to swallow fish swallowing fish and so on.

"Thar someone from the IRS blows!"

'Quick! sell me a lure,any lure,I just found an empty compartment in my tackle box.'

'Hike the Alps? I'm getting out of breath just keeping my foot on the accelerator!'

For Those Who Don't Feel That Driving School Is Quite Enough, There's...Driver's University

'Closer... closer...'

'Due to technical difficulties the scenic route is currently unavailable'

"What is it with you and your baggy clothes?"

Man photographing fish through magnifying glass

Men should not be afraid to stop and ask for directions.

'If they sing row, row, row your boat one more time, I'm jumping ship!'

'Let's go home, boy. Ain't no ducks today.'