Comedy Co-pilot Gifts

I still don't see how these 'hand free' laws make you any safer...

"I need to tinkle."

Stand-up Romcom

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

'You know, just because they ask, doesn't mean you have to let them fly.'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

Bake off: Flan B

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

Co-pilot smirks at paper airplane stuck in the hair of the pilot

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

"Look, there's even more buttons and stuff up there."

"I know it's a pie in the sky, Henshaw, but from a career perspective point of view we'll log it in as 'unidentified small aircraft'."

'Hello, this is your captain speaking... I'm on the next flight!'

'Do you have to bring your mother on every flight?'

Recipes.

"The pilots are trained on all the plane's technology, but they're still having a hard time with the backup camera."

"Student driver"

Plane windscreen cleaner

'Mmmm. How do you get the custard so creamy? You must give me the recipie!'

"Sorry Capt., but it's a pretty bad termite infestation..."

God and His Copilot.

For the third time that week somebody had super-glued the manager to his seat. It was great for team morale.

'No, I'm not going anywhere today: It's my pilot fish's day off...'

Pontius Pilot: "You simpleton!! I said flaps 10 degrees, not 8! One more mistake like that and I'll have you crucified!!"

I brake for Jetliners.

"Let's skip the taxi-ing and land right at the gate. I really have to use the bathroom."

Insomnia

"It's bring-your-kid-to-work, day."

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

'Sorry darling, I'm too tired to lift you onto your pedestal tonight.'

'When we were first married, he was all 'Cock-A-Doodle-Do.' Now, he's just 'Cock-A-Doodle-Don't.''