Cockpit Comedians Gifts

Words you don't ever want to hear: a pilot saying 'I keep forgetting - East: is that to the left or right of north?'

'It's his mother. They're inseparable.'

"I've just barbecued my head again."

'Are we nearly there yet?'

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

Family working together

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

Receiving the early-morning T-mail.

'Tastes just like my mother's pies because she too made hers from a mix.'

A tureen of chefs

'That's a full ten minutes with the TV off. What now?'

"Look, there's even more buttons and stuff up there."

'A beaver wearing a mountie hat riding a moose! Still think we haven't crossed into Canada?'

"I know it's a pie in the sky, Henshaw, but from a career perspective point of view we'll log it in as 'unidentified small aircraft'."

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

'You're in luck - My parents like you.'

"Student driver"

...she found out that the basque he'd bought wasn't for her.

'Mmmm. How do you get the custard so creamy? You must give me the recipie!'

"I thought it would be cheaper to weed wack our shag carpet rather than replace it."

For every dog who gets the window seat, there's Steve, the designated driver.

"Drat!. . . We've run out of ice..."

"I am a control freak."

'Hoping to help me with dinner, are you?'

"You know I always sit there for my keep fit programme!"

"I've seen this film ten times and it's still awful."

'I told you, never utter that four letter work - 'walk!''

"Why can't you just bat the ball of yarn around like other cats?"

"I want you to be open and honest and to not leave any hair on the couch."