Cockpit Comedy Gifts

"Please pay attention as the stewardess demonstrates our new procedure for drunken passengers"

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

Watch overhead if you want to improve product delivery. Bridge financing could figure.

"Look, there's even more buttons and stuff up there."

'That's a full ten minutes with the TV off. What now?'

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"I know it's a pie in the sky, Henshaw, but from a career perspective point of view we'll log it in as 'unidentified small aircraft'."

"It's garage music."

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

"Student driver"

"I am a control freak."

"I've seen this film ten times and it's still awful."

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

"You know I always sit there for my keep fit programme!"

WARNING - This Programme Contains No Strong Language.....

Uprooted

"I want you to be open and honest and to not leave any hair on the couch."

"Why can't you just bat the ball of yarn around like other cats?"

If you're going to wear a GoPro, Larry, you have to actually go.

Pine tree driving a truck with a human-shaped air freshener hanging off the mirror

'He's training for the London Marathon,he watches it every year.'

When Chemists take acid trips.

'Tommy move, I can't see the screen.'

"He called in sick 2 years ago and now he doesn't remember where he works."

Balloons and the Hedgehog

'Here we go again, Mr Gloez, you are NOT a couch mechanic!'

'She's not actually missing yet but I'll be in Brazil next week.'

My car idles well! It learned a lot from you!

'Sorry about the screaming during that air pocket, back there.'

COVID-19: Portrait In Courage

"Sir, you've been downgraded to the baggage compartment."

'Now they're saying exercise doesn't cure depression.'