Cockpit Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"No, thanks, I'll just grab one from the cockpit minibar."

"Look, there's even more buttons and stuff up there."

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

"I know it's a pie in the sky, Henshaw, but from a career perspective point of view we'll log it in as 'unidentified small aircraft'."

"Student driver"

Two birds refuel.

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

"Hey, thanks again for letting me borrow your pen."

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

'Sorry about the screaming during that air pocket, back there.'

Comedy Club. Open Mic Nite. A car doing comedy? It it's like mine, it'll make funny noises!

If you're really listening to the control tower, why are you playing air drums?

"Height and position? I'm six foot tall and in the pilot's seat."

'Damn it! I can never remember which one's the lighter.'

"As you'd expect, the control panel of a modern passenger jet is very complex."

'This is the pilot. If you look to the left you'll see London, look to the right France - inside the cockpit the co-pilot's underpants.'

Honk honk here, honk honk there, everywhere a honk honk

'I'm giving you a ticket for driving too slow.'

"Could be just a coincidence, but that whining noise seems to stop when your husband gets out of the car."

'It's his mother. They're inseparable.'

'Quit giving it gas...you're going to flood this thing.'

'Radical snow removal method #23 at the airport.'

"Bigelow, let's try and set this thing down just once without saying 'Oopsy-daisy.' "

'It's no use, our radar is out! I'm afraid it's all up to you now Wally!!'

"Please pay attention as the stewardess demonstrates our new procedure for drunken passengers"

"Thanks, babe."

Humpty Dumpty's car.

Econo Air-bag

'It's from head office,we've all got to be Crypton tuned'

Need for oil?

"Flashed again....Anyone would think I was on full beam!"

For the chemist on the go: Laptop gas chromatography/mass spectrometer.

'Trade you seats?'

Words you don't ever want to hear: a pilot saying 'I keep forgetting - East: is that to the left or right of north?'

Boy skateboarding off the back of a car shaped like a skateboard ramp.