Craft Comedy Gifts

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

Do it yourself books.

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

Building a better America - Financing by The Bank of China.

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

"I've fixed the shelf, darling."

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

Knight with paint tin on his head.

Hanley Fabric Co., Polly-Esther

'I just don't understand what the big deal is about kiln dried lumber.'

"We had to put three screws in his neck and a steel plate in his head."

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

Poorly planned Chanukah crafts

Outlaw Quilting Bees

"Gesundheit."

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

"Like THAT's ever going to work!"

Cubits? Haven't You gone metric yet?

Scaffolding being put together by glue.

The disgruntled employees were brought down with tranquilizer darts, ending the worst pillow fight in recent memory.

'Hmm, back to the drawing board.'

"Hold on, one more thing to go."

'That's not what I meant when I asked you to add a second bathroom, Roger.'

'I baked it especially for you.'

Keister Island

"Sure my first quote was less. That was before I found the body in the wall."

"He can't bear working on yellow teeth."

'Have you heard about the origami shop?'

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on." (Colour)

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."