Artisan Comedy Gifts

Small-Batch Banking

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

"The Eggsorcist"

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

The opera - 'Please, sir, give us your ticket, if you ain;t a-goin' in again.'

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

'For Sale by Neighbor'

Gustav Holst

"Fuhgettaboutit, Charley. Ya been fixed."

Building a better America - Financing by The Bank of China.

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

I'll admit I haven't been waiting all my life to meet you, but I have waited through a rough pencil sketch, the inking process and Photoshop lettering. Surely that's worth something! !?!

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

'This is the questionnaire we need everyone to fill out about their views on excessive bureaucracy.'

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

"Well they are fake ducks, Honey, but not quite decoyish enough."

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

Medusa's baby picture

Man sitting at desk below sign saying 'Apologies' and two trays labelled 'Reserved' and 'Unreserved'.

"Have we looked as though we know what it is, for long enough yet?"

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

'If they don't laugh, we'll say it's art.'