Humor Artisans Gifts

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

Polly txt speak

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"Here we are."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Alien embryo growing in earth.

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"The Eggsorcist"

The First Fire Stick

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

"She's a miniature."

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

Giant Monster in Bath

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

Baby being fed using a lego construction.

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"He looks just like your husband."

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

'No worries Grizella, let me call my 'eye of newt' guy...'

'HEY! Shouldn't that be a reef-knot?!'

Climbing with the baby