Humor Artisans Gifts

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

Polly txt speak

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

"Here we are."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"The Eggsorcist"

Alien embryo growing in earth.

The First Fire Stick

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

Giant Monster in Bath

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"She's a miniature."

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

Baby being fed using a lego construction.

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

"He looks just like your husband."

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

'No worries Grizella, let me call my 'eye of newt' guy...'

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

'HEY! Shouldn't that be a reef-knot?!'

'Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.'