Industrial Humorists Gifts

Dog urinating on tree on the back of a lorry

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'So I'll become a CEO of a dummy corporation.'

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

'Well, they're just like your mom's cookies if your mom is a 35 ton, multi-unit dough extruder.'

'Some hackers have broken into the system. It goes in as molten steel, and it comes out as chicken gumbo soup.'

Satis Factory Tour

'Your resume is certainly impressive, Mr. Simmons, but do you have any on the job experience?'

'Here it is - the world's largest miniaturization plant.'

After the latest pay bonus and benefit awards you've won, I've decided to join you on the shop floor.

A businessman sits with an executive toy of smokestacks.

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

Hanley Fabric Co., Polly-Esther

"There - now we're environmentally responsible."

"Gesundheit."

"If it gets tense in here I might need you to step up and BS-calate things."

Mattress makers picketing in front of factory are sleepwalking.

'The company is losing millions and the press are asking questions. Gentlemen,we're looking for a scapegoat.'

Heavy Metal Scrap Merchants.

The disgruntled employees were brought down with tranquilizer darts, ending the worst pillow fight in recent memory.

"I'll breathe easier when the economy gets back on track."

Pork Lift

Casual Mask Fridays

Bookshop with Best sellers getting pushed into the Remainders basket.

"'Take that,' growled the writer as the buyer for Borders slumped to the ..."

'How would you like to be VP of Medieval Thinking?'

'It's from my stockbroker - he'd like to join us.'

"What we need is a union."

Oil Workers

'We should mention a few mild side effects. If here are none at all, people will be suspicious.'

"I need you to finish this over the weekend."

'Interest rates are down, so we'll only pull one more.'

'In this economy, money is the lure.'