Industrial Humor Lovers Gifts

'Steel Wool' company

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

'You forgot the product label.'

'Well, they're just like your mom's cookies if your mom is a 35 ton, multi-unit dough extruder.'

'Some hackers have broken into the system. It goes in as molten steel, and it comes out as chicken gumbo soup.'

Satis Factory Tour

'Your resume is certainly impressive, Mr. Simmons, but do you have any on the job experience?'

'Here it is - the world's largest miniaturization plant.'

Hanley Fabric Co., Polly-Esther

"Feel free to hydrate during my presentation."

"There - now we're environmentally responsible."

'Monkey Business'

Mattress makers picketing in front of factory are sleepwalking.

Heavy Metal Scrap Merchants.

"How do they tell each other apart?"

Pork Lift

"What we need is a union."

Dog urinating on tree on the back of a lorry

"I told him to trim a couple of inches off the middle and he thought it was a fat remark."

"Oh, yes, 'Aloha' also means 'you're fired.'"

Robot's Coffee Break.

"We're tolerably self sufficient. Alistair, for example, makes all our own petrol."

'You're being replaced by a machine...But at least it's an American-made machine.'

Awareness!...

"And this, gentlemen, is what one of our typical American workers looks before he gets fired!"

'Sure, we can keep the floors clean. Well just use the stuff we bleach the flour with.'

"We still offer executives the Golden Parachute, but now it's a real thing in case stockholders storm the 59th floor."

"You should have been here last week. This is clean coal."

"The microwave isn't working and I needed to heat my lunch."

"Soak your nuts in acetone every day for a week, and it should clear up as good as new."

"Didn't you know? We just drive around. This is a mobile toxic-wast dump."

'The company bought a machine to replace 20 of us, but it's too large to fit in the shop!'

'I did it at the skill centre'

'How long were you safety officer at the nuclear reactor?'