Industrial Humor Aficionado Gifts

Safety pin factory.

'Did you hear that marketing wants us to move into 'compressed liquids' next?'

"This position has become very important to the company."

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

Thesaurus Company

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

'If people who have sudden ideas really had light bulbs over their heads, it would be very dark in here.'

'Casual Friday's never caught on in this department.'

'You forgot the product label.'

'Well, they're just like your mom's cookies if your mom is a 35 ton, multi-unit dough extruder.'

'Some hackers have broken into the system. It goes in as molten steel, and it comes out as chicken gumbo soup.'

Satis Factory Tour

'Here it is - the world's largest miniaturization plant.'

'Your resume is certainly impressive, Mr. Simmons, but do you have any on the job experience?'

'It's important that I see eye-to-eye with any consultants we bring in.'

"But first let's all congratulate Ted on his return to work."

'How are you getting on with the strategy for growth ?'

R&D - Relax & Doodle

Mattress makers picketing in front of factory are sleepwalking.

"I have no idea what it is you do around here, but whatever it is, keep up the good work."

"There - now we're environmentally responsible."

'Ms. Andrews, have there been any important office memos, voice-mails, texts, tweets or IMs during my incarceration?'

Look a gift from the shareholders...some red candles and a clock! (dynamite).

Heavy Metal Scrap Merchants.

Scientists in cloning research lab all look like company founder's portrait.

"Blitzak, this is not your cubicle."

Lemonade: Ripe prospect for corporate buy-out, take over, or merger.

Pork Lift

"What we need is a union."

"They're changing the top-down distribution to a bottom-up exchange of half-baked ideas."

"I told him to trim a couple of inches off the middle and he thought it was a fat remark."

Complaints.

'I'm beginning to regret making you deputy manager.'

Robot's Coffee Break.

"We're tolerably self sufficient. Alistair, for example, makes all our own petrol."