Industrial Comedy Lover Gifts

'Here it is - the world's largest miniaturization plant.'

"It might have happened here Miss Hobson, but it doesn't qualify as an 'Industrial Accident."

Caution Brick Wall: Wear Proper Head Gear.

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'What's wrong? Think the walls have ears?'

Please bring me a few sharpened pencils and some lucrative business.

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

'This is just an informal pledge that we all go through.'

'Here are some bonus checks. Distribute them unfairly.'

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

'We offer full benefits. A desk, a chair and your very own cubicle.'

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

'He's faxing like there's no tomorrow.'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

"It's the most hostile takeover I've ever been involved in"

'Well, this is a new low - even for you.'

"Hate to see you leave, Dave...especially since it was just last week that I learned you worked for me."

"There goes the person that proved the Peter principal faster than anyone in history."

Great coaching is about being specific with feedback.

'You forgot the product label.'

'Well, they're just like your mom's cookies if your mom is a 35 ton, multi-unit dough extruder.'

'Some hackers have broken into the system. It goes in as molten steel, and it comes out as chicken gumbo soup.'

Satis Factory Tour

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

"Thank you for making my decision to fire you, that much easier."

'Your resume is certainly impressive, Mr. Simmons, but do you have any on the job experience?'

R. Gelfin - The buck stops here, then gets buried in his pile.

'How's the meeting going, Ed?'

Fred began to understand why this kit house was so cheap.

"It was going to be a high-rise office building. But after three bricks, they ran out of money."

Why you should never leave a sander alone in a locked room.

'What's happened to all this money?'

"There - now we're environmentally responsible."

'Shred that last mental note I gave you.'

There! You finally have a window!