Captain Of Comedic Chaos Gifts

Damn Seagulls

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

'George! This way quick!'

'Actually, they're pretty nice, once they settle down.'

I came in early to seize the day...but it seized me first.

When Fred's super deluxe leaf blower blew up yet again, he wondered where global deforestation is when you want it,

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

'Sunday in the park'

For the third time that week somebody had super-glued the manager to his seat. It was great for team morale.

"Sorry Capt., but it's a pretty bad termite infestation..."

"Hold on, I'll make that coffee to go!"

"Did someone just shout 'sinkhole!!!'?"

"Ahoy!"

"Walter had an attack of road rage in the driveway."

The insurance giants do battle, ironically costing their own companies billions of dollars in claims,

'Roger that...I'm taking the first clean shot I can get.'

Mime in an Emergency Ward at Hospital

"I'll call you back. I'm in a meeting."

'Do you think Doctor could see him soon, I have the dinner to prepare.'

'Quick! sell me a lure,any lure,I just found an empty compartment in my tackle box.'

Covid Juggling

"Well, what I lack in cognitive thinking skills I more than make in moral flexibility."

worrying letters

'Guess who?'

Small boat pulling up a ship's anchor.

'John's ,um wouldn't have heard if I had said please and thank you - she was too busy shouting for help.'

"Haven't you heard? Twenty's the new ten!"

'Closer... closer...'

Man photographing fish through magnifying glass

Pandora's Fax.

"For the trip, I also got us two of each kind of donut."

'Smiley Faced Contractors, Kinder Gentler Destruction.