Captain Of Comedic Chaos Gifts

Damn Seagulls

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

"The mad king ruled by chaos and corruption. He pitted everyone against each other, and they all lived divisively ever after. The end."

'George! This way quick!'

'Actually, they're pretty nice, once they settle down.'

I came in early to seize the day...but it seized me first.

When Fred's super deluxe leaf blower blew up yet again, he wondered where global deforestation is when you want it,

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

'Sunday in the park'

For the third time that week somebody had super-glued the manager to his seat. It was great for team morale.

"Hold on, I'll make that coffee to go!"

"Walter had an attack of road rage in the driveway."

"Ahoy!"

"Sorry Capt., but it's a pretty bad termite infestation..."

"Did someone just shout 'sinkhole!!!'?"

The insurance giants do battle, ironically costing their own companies billions of dollars in claims,

Over. Under. Sideways. Kid.

"I'll call you back. I'm in a meeting."

Mime in an Emergency Ward at Hospital

'Roger that...I'm taking the first clean shot I can get.'

'Do you think Doctor could see him soon, I have the dinner to prepare.'

'Quick! sell me a lure,any lure,I just found an empty compartment in my tackle box.'

Covid Juggling

"Well, what I lack in cognitive thinking skills I more than make in moral flexibility."

worrying letters

'Guess who?'

Small boat pulling up a ship's anchor.

'John's ,um wouldn't have heard if I had said please and thank you - she was too busy shouting for help.'

"Haven't you heard? Twenty's the new ten!"

'Closer... closer...'

Man photographing fish through magnifying glass

Pandora's Fax.

'Smiley Faced Contractors, Kinder Gentler Destruction.