Chaos Humorist Gifts

The insurance giants do battle, ironically costing their own companies billions of dollars in claims,

Pandora's Fax.

'Things have to get worse before they get better.'

"I said fire not shoot."

Future garbage truck driver.

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

',,,And we'd really like a heart for the Tin Man,,,'

"Do you realize that you and I have it in our power to cause quite a brouhaha?'

"Isn't it obvious? I'm writing the great American graphic novel."

'George! This way quick!'

"The mad king ruled by chaos and corruption. He pitted everyone against each other, and they all lived divisively ever after. The end."

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

'This is my natural habitat.'

'I didn't want to get the napkin messy.'

When Fred's super deluxe leaf blower blew up yet again, he wondered where global deforestation is when you want it,

"My mom said a tornado hit my room. I checked my weather app, and it said clear skies."

'Your father and I support your career aspirations, but we feel you need a new practice space.'

"Gosh! Look what he's done to his Harry Potter books..."

"A tornado? Uh, yeah...that's exactly what happened, Mom, a tornado did hit my room!"

"Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily..."

Mad scientist holding bubbling flask in lab

'I do wish you'd use the study when you work from home.'

'Sunday in the park'

"Did someone just shout 'sinkhole!!!'?"

"Walter had an attack of road rage in the driveway."

'...To be fair, the chemistry teacher didn't ask your Son to drink his practical exam.'

"Hold on, I'll make that coffee to go!"

'We did some exciting things with tempera today.'

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

'John's into 'computer-hacking' in a big way!'

Over. Under. Sideways. Kid.

"I'll call you back. I'm in a meeting."