Carpenter With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

"Oh my god, I'm board!"

Welcome Association of Stage Builders.

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

'If you don't stop biting your nails, you're going to ruin your teeth.'

'Anything need fix'n around here? I mean besides the lamp I just broke.'

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

"I've fixed the shelf, darling."

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

'Just measuring you for the breakfast nook.'

"Oh Dad, you're the best! My own aquarium!"

Cubits? Haven't You gone metric yet?

"I've up cycled your Chippendale!"

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

Auto Mechanic's Confessional Booth

Union and Non-Union Carpenter Ants.

"I think we have carpenter ants."

"Let me guess: Another splinter?"

'I need just a hair cut off this.'

"Now that the kids and grandkids are grown I can get back to more erotic embroidery."

"Here's a less known Jane Austen novel that you might enjoy. It's about carpentry and lawn care, called 'Fence and Fencibility."

The maintaining different types of fence.

101 uses of a dead cat: knitting

You gonna finish that?

'Su casa is now mi casa.'

'Honest! I didn't see the signs!'

Skip Hire

"It's a beginner's sewing kit I put together for you. There's scissors, needles, bandaids, gauze, antiseptic. . ."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the ark. . . Begin again."

'No, It's still crocked. Move the right up a tiny bit...'

Needle work for beginners.

"I hope you don't mind, but I'm getting a snack. That cheese you put on that trap is getting modly

Jonathon slipped out for a crafty fag.