Lover Of Humor In Construction Gifts

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

Building a better America - Financing by The Bank of China.

"Frosty the Repairman"

Dave, determined to go green by using only solar powered tools, will hereafter check weather reports before making bids.

Stone henge swing.

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

Man looking at sign that reads 'Hord Wark' and says: "I can't put that up. It's too much like hard work."

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

"It was going to be a high-rise office building. But after three bricks, they ran out of money."

'I just don't understand what the big deal is about kiln dried lumber.'

Fred began to understand why this kit house was so cheap.

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

"We had to put three screws in his neck and a steel plate in his head."

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

Why you should never leave a sander alone in a locked room.

Private work adjustments

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

'That's gonna be a big job, boss.'

I need a 10 foot board. That's 70 feet in dog feet.