Comedy Carpenter T-Shirts

Cubits? Haven't You gone metric yet?

"I've fixed the shelf, darling."

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

Do it yourself books.

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

"That explains all the cavities."

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

Building a better America - Financing by The Bank of China.

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

'Anything need fix'n around here? I mean besides the lamp I just broke.'

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

'I just don't understand what the big deal is about kiln dried lumber.'

"We had to put three screws in his neck and a steel plate in his head."

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

For the third time that week somebody had super-glued the manager to his seat. It was great for team morale.

Poorly planned Chanukah crafts

Interpretive Dental Hygiene

"Sorry Capt., but it's a pretty bad termite infestation..."

"It's garage music."

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

Scaffolding being put together by glue.

Super Homeworld

'That's not what I meant when I asked you to add a second bathroom, Roger.'

"Hold on, one more thing to go."

'I baked it especially for you.'

"You like woodwork class then, son?"

"Sure my first quote was less. That was before I found the body in the wall."