Comedically Carefree Gifts

'Just look at him- a fool and his money are soon partying!'

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

"Think of it as a big puddle."

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"To be or not to be."

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"...then finally, I got serious and started a band."

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

Is your glass half full or half empty? Who cares, fill her up!

Running

"Yes sir, I'm late. But I thought we were supposed to stop and smell the roses ... "

"I live for the moment. That moment just happens to be in the indefinite future."

"Should be back soon. He's just out catching a few x-rays."

"That's the deep end."

"Any qualifications other than speaking the language."

"So you dreamed you were an adult?"

Whatever!

"What fly?"

'Look, another Now Available store is opening! Maybe yo could get a job there. They seem to be opening stores all over town!'

"It's time to end the suffering."

'I'm beginning to see some change in you.'

There are many potent chemicals on the market...but private theories are often prefered.

The only way I can get through a nudist convention.

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

'Dude, I got the rest of the day off, so I'll be able to go riding after all!'

"This is where I come to unwind."

"You and your lists! You're missing out on life."

A therapist reads to his patient from a joke book.

'My socks don't match, but neither me nor my socks care.'

Frankly, I'm not as interested in resisting temptation as I am in finding it!

"They grow up so slow."

"My summer vacation report contains descriptions of excessive sugar consumption, and unsupervised play. Listener discretion is advised."