Carefree Living Gifts

Nudist Colony/Unbrushed Hair Colony

"I quit worrying. I've gone 100% non-non and completely free-free."

"Think of it as a big puddle."

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

Swinging

"...then finally, I got serious and started a band."

Is your glass half full or half empty? Who cares, fill her up!

'Wow! School's only been out for ten minutes, and I've already forgotten everything I learned.'

Running

"Yes sir, I'm late. But I thought we were supposed to stop and smell the roses ... "

"That's the deep end."

"Should be back soon. He's just out catching a few x-rays."

Whatever!

"So you dreamed you were an adult?"

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

"This is where I come to unwind."

"Ain't worth the whiskey!"

Mexican Dog

Weathervanes.

"They grow up so slow."

'Dude, I got the rest of the day off, so I'll be able to go riding after all!'

'No luggage.'

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

"You and your lists! You're missing out on life."

'My socks don't match, but neither me nor my socks care.'

"My summer vacation report contains descriptions of excessive sugar consumption, and unsupervised play. Listener discretion is advised."

'Now this how you handle the end of summer...'

"Ya know, no mask or hand sanitizer can spare you from spring fever."

'All the fourth grade guys took a blood oath not to learn anything during the summer.'

'I don't worry about anything. My Mom does all the worrying for me.'

'I'm at the point in life where I don't care about the past, I live in the moment.'

"Shopping was stress-free this year because I started early and didn't give a s**t what I bought."