Comedic Web Surfer Gifts

'I told you not to look up your ailments on the internet' - computer screen reads 'You have 3 days to live',

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'An encyclopedia? I don't know. Let's look up what it is on Wikipedia.'

Pushy Dog

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

'We've been lucky - sometimes you can be out here the whole day and fail to see a single boat!'

Jumble Sale

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

As the years passed, Grandpa became more absent minded...

'It wasn't the strength of your argument. It was your breath.'

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

Jeff makes some nice jugs.

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

Finally. A home exercise system that really is a clothes rack!

'To cure your dog I suggest you change your aftershave lotion, Mr Lutshbuddle.'

Rollercoaster police chase.

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'It's been so long since he's been on dry land.'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

Computer clown.

'Whatever you do, don't push: 'control', 'alt;, 'anvil'.'

'You didn't train for this marathon, did you?'

Eskimo in Igloo

Model's aspirations