Comedic Struggle Lover Gifts

'Let him struggle; it's the only exercise he gets.'

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

After the gun ban, the guys still liked to go out and horse around on weekends.

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

"The back flip was a nice touch."

"You're right...it's football strategy! I think I presented our financial proposal to the youth team I coach! I must get more sleep!"

"Sales rep from Milton Keynes? You prove he no British spymaster who sent you on secret mission to Bananastan?"

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

'I'm not trying to take away from the fact that you are a twisted, brilliant genius. . .but what is with the size of this bloody forehead?!?'

Rule #1. Of what? HYPOCHONDRIACS HANDBOOK. A little passion project I'm working on; or, rather, I would be working on. I can't write or type wearing my protective anti-flu gear. Rule #1: Get some loser to take dictation for you. I hate where this is heading.

'I'm all talked out. Let's look into some gene therapy.'

"Good news, honey - I've been fired. We're rich."

'...I really wish you would of told me you wanted to be a ballerina before we got married.'

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

'I didn't recognize your old boyfriend at first. He's got a new car.'

"I'm just doing this until I can break into accounting."

'OK, pal, you've called me a little shrimp for the last time - let's see what you're made of!'

"Sorry, my mum asked me to babysit my brother at the last minute..."

"When he thinks back about this years from now, he'll only remember the good probes."

Racing road signs

"Of course, at present Mademoiselle's neck is too long, but our Mr. Francis is going to change all that."

'And, if elected, I promise to reach across the aisle, if you know what I mean...'

'To thumb a lift from this one mate, you must be tired of life!'

"Mom! My laundry is ready!"

'We can learn a lot about motivation for sports psychology.'

"I don't care if it is your job. If you issue me with that ticket, don't bother coming home tonight!"

"I warned you not to do Jeff Koons."

"If I had to guess I'd say your son's acne is the result of a sudden surge of hormones."

"Do you think your husband is on to us?"

What most people don't know is that the 8th Deadly Sin is 'lateness'..."

". . . And, Reggie, if you're willing to give me one more chance, I promise never to flirt with another man again!"

Ed uses comb-overs on his bald spots.

'That shark took Bob right out of the boat! Now I'll never get the $50 he owes me.'