Comedic Situations Enthusiast Pillows

"What makes you think I'm pregnant?"

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"Oh, come on! I've told you, I'm not your 'imaginary friend.' I'm your father."

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

Knife-thrower.

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"Any other educational qualifications besides Trump university?"

Husband electronic tagging control centre - Screen reads 'Pub'

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

"Any luck"

"It's your husband from beyond. He says stop trying to 'Google' him."

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

"Well, of course you have a heart."

No, thank you, I brought my own bag.

"Hello?- Anyone here?"

"My dad really went ballistic! I'm not grounded...I'm under house arrest!"

"I brought popcorn..."

Eskimo in Igloo

"Baldo, this is Humberto...he moved to the United States last month?"

'He doesn't like to be called an Optometrist. He prefers the title 'Visionary'!'

'This is what happens when you try to blow out that many candles.'

'To thumb a lift from this one mate, you must be tired of life!'

Hmmm, this reminds me...your mother called last night.

'...and finally I'd just like to thank my plastic surgeon for giving me these puppies.'