Comedic Situations Pillows

"My dad really went ballistic! I'm not grounded...I'm under house arrest!"

"Hello?- Anyone here?"

'Someone wants to know if we want to switch long-distance providers.'

Jungle explorers face giant hairball.

Man with a nail in his hammer

Father afraid of daughters VAT inspector boyfriend

Husband electronic tagging control centre - Screen reads 'Pub'

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

Wind shear - 81 st and Lex

"Oh, come on! I've told you, I'm not your 'imaginary friend.' I'm your father."

"The first week back is always the hardest"

Knife-thrower.

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

'You misunderstand, squire. All I do is guarantee that my cars are USED!'

'Are you crazy! The nest is made of dry grass and twigs: Smoking is a massive fire harzard!'

"Is this your first time with an undercover cop?"

'I didn't know I had to bring a rifle. I'm sort of new at this. Last time I went hunting it was for Easter eggs.'

"Yes, dear, we're caught in a cycle...but you can hardly call it a vicious cycle."

"What makes you think I'm pregnant?"

'To thumb a lift from this one mate, you must be tired of life!'

"Have you considered the potential advantages of having a professional coach?"

"Haven't you heard? Twenty's the new ten!"

"This model comes loaded with options, including a parking space in your neighborhood."

Error: System clock is running 30 seconds slow!

'Let's go home, boy. Ain't no ducks today.'

Sale! Everything Must Go!

I thought you wanted me to sell your car.

"And so my boss decided to take me under his wing, where I proceeded to get sucked into a jet engine."

As you can probably tell, I'm easily offended

Receptionist takes managing director a cup of coffee/tea, finds him having sex with someone, leaves, then comes back with two cups of coffee/tea.

'Calm down Harold, it's just a phase some teens go through. He just shaved his coloured feathers off to express his feminine side!'

'Gesundheit!'

'Aaaaah' 'Helpline's busy can you hold.'

"If you are still unhappy with your current allowance compensation, may I once more suggest to you a life of crime."