Comedic Situations Enthusiasts Pillows

'Aaaaah' 'Helpline's busy can you hold.'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"Oh, come on! I've told you, I'm not your 'imaginary friend.' I'm your father."

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

Knife-thrower.

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

"Any other educational qualifications besides Trump university?"

Husband electronic tagging control centre - Screen reads 'Pub'

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

"Any luck"

"It's your husband from beyond. He says stop trying to 'Google' him."

"He decided to write a travel book..."

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

"I brought popcorn..."

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

"Hello?- Anyone here?"

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

No, thank you, I brought my own bag.

"My dad really went ballistic! I'm not grounded...I'm under house arrest!"

"Well, of course you have a heart."

Eskimo in Igloo

Jungle explorers face giant hairball.

'He doesn't like to be called an Optometrist. He prefers the title 'Visionary'!'

'To thumb a lift from this one mate, you must be tired of life!'

'...and finally I'd just like to thank my plastic surgeon for giving me these puppies.'