Comedic Situations Enthusiasts Pillows

'Aaaaah' 'Helpline's busy can you hold.'

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"Oh, come on! I've told you, I'm not your 'imaginary friend.' I'm your father."

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

Knife-thrower.

Husband electronic tagging control centre - Screen reads 'Pub'

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

"Any luck"

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

"Hello?- Anyone here?"

"He decided to write a travel book..."

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

"I brought popcorn..."

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

"Well, of course you have a heart."

"My dad really went ballistic! I'm not grounded...I'm under house arrest!"

Eskimo in Igloo

'He doesn't like to be called an Optometrist. He prefers the title 'Visionary'!'

'To thumb a lift from this one mate, you must be tired of life!'

Hmmm, this reminds me...your mother called last night.