Comedic Scenario Lover Pillows

'This is no time to be washing your hair,Margaret!'

Fun run vs pitbull parade

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

"We have a favor to ask."

"It's marzipan pigs."

"Oh, come on! I've told you, I'm not your 'imaginary friend.' I'm your father."

The Consequences of an Interrupted Shower.

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

Knife-thrower.

"Any luck"

'I didn't recognize your old boyfriend at first. He's got a new car.'

"Precisely what do you find so provocative about me, Mr Golcz?"

"Well, of course you have a heart."

Sex Education: "Here's one we prepared earlier..."

'Mom!!'

He sounds like a hunk, his profile says bulky and athletic

"What makes you think I'm pregnant?"

'To thumb a lift from this one mate, you must be tired of life!'

"They're about this big."

". . . And, Reggie, if you're willing to give me one more chance, I promise never to flirt with another man again!"

'Don't worry about running out of petrol - I just happen to have a spare two gallon can in my rucksack !'

I thought you wanted me to sell your car.

What most people don't know is that the 8th Deadly Sin is 'lateness'..."

Receptionist takes managing director a cup of coffee/tea, finds him having sex with someone, leaves, then comes back with two cups of coffee/tea.

"Unaware that the earth had detached itself from his house, Sam steps off the porch

"Say, what's that funny smell?"

'Aaaaah' 'Helpline's busy can you hold.'

'Here's the problem, this wall is made out velcro.'

'Dad, what are you doing in sex education class?'

"Come on guys, let's stop arguing: Group hug!"

101 uses of a dead cat: hot water bottle

'Mr. Beegley will see you briefly.'

'Fred insists that he is not fat, just too short for his weight.'