Comedic Scenario Lover Gifts

'This is no time to be washing your hair,Margaret!'

Fun run vs pitbull parade

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

"We have a favor to ask."

"It's marzipan pigs."

The Consequences of an Interrupted Shower.

"Oh, come on! I've told you, I'm not your 'imaginary friend.' I'm your father."

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

Knife-thrower.

'We were playing Twister at a party. . . there was a loud popping noise.'

'I didn't recognize your old boyfriend at first. He's got a new car.'

"Any luck"

Sex Education: "Here's one we prepared earlier..."

"Precisely what do you find so provocative about me, Mr Golcz?"

"Well, of course you have a heart."

'Mom!!'

"What makes you think I'm pregnant?"

He sounds like a hunk, his profile says bulky and athletic

'To thumb a lift from this one mate, you must be tired of life!'

Apex Piano Movers

I thought you wanted me to sell your car.

". . . And, Reggie, if you're willing to give me one more chance, I promise never to flirt with another man again!"

'Don't worry about running out of petrol - I just happen to have a spare two gallon can in my rucksack !'

What most people don't know is that the 8th Deadly Sin is 'lateness'..."

"They're about this big."

Receptionist takes managing director a cup of coffee/tea, finds him having sex with someone, leaves, then comes back with two cups of coffee/tea.

"Say, what's that funny smell?"

"Unaware that the earth had detached itself from his house, Sam steps off the porch

'Aaaaah' 'Helpline's busy can you hold.'

'Here's the problem, this wall is made out velcro.'

'Dad, what are you doing in sex education class?'

I thought this only happened in cartoons.

"Come on guys, let's stop arguing: Group hug!"