Comedic Scene Lover Gifts

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

Dolphin tricks.

Euthanasia Clinic

'You think you're better than me, don't you?'

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

'I'm not trying to take away from the fact that you are a twisted, brilliant genius. . .but what is with the size of this bloody forehead?!?'

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

"That is six feet."

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'I didn't recognize your old boyfriend at first. He's got a new car.'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

"Any luck"

Sadie hated Sunday lunchtimes.

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

'Look, Mom. I'm belly dancing.'

"I brought popcorn..."

Eskimo in Igloo

'He doesn't like to be called an Optometrist. He prefers the title 'Visionary'!'

"I still can't work out why the humans arrange this for us!"

Hmmm, this reminds me...your mother called last night.