Comedic Scene Lover Pillows

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"Baldo, Gracie...you need to learn more Spanish. For the rest of the week, I'm going to speak nothing but Spanish, and Tia Carmen will act as your interpreter, OK? Tienen tarea?"

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

Dolphin tricks.

Euthanasia Clinic

'You think you're better than me, don't you?'

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

'I'm not trying to take away from the fact that you are a twisted, brilliant genius. . .but what is with the size of this bloody forehead?!?'

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

"Any other educational qualifications besides Trump university?"

"That is six feet."

For a few dollars more, we can get a suite. Spaghetti Westin.

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'We were playing Twister at a party. . . there was a loud popping noise.'

'I didn't recognize your old boyfriend at first. He's got a new car.'

"Any luck"

"It's your husband from beyond. He says stop trying to 'Google' him."

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

"I brought popcorn..."

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

Sadie hated Sunday lunchtimes.

'Look, Mom. I'm belly dancing.'

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

Eskimo in Igloo

'Fang, what do you think the chances are that I'll marry that girl second from the end on 'Deal or No Deal'?'

'...and finally I'd just like to thank my plastic surgeon for giving me these puppies.'

"What makes you think I'm pregnant?"