Ironic Scenario Lover Gifts

Sex Education: "Here's one we prepared earlier..."

"Little help?"

'This will be great for chase scenes.'

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

"We have a favor to ask."

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

Time management office worker

'We want you to start working from home. And not for us.'

"It's marzipan pigs."

The Consequences of an Interrupted Shower.

"Do you know what time they open love?"

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

'It's for you.'

'Okay - which one was here first?'

That's a silly question. What does it LOOK like I'm doing?'

"Precisely what do you find so provocative about me, Mr Golcz?"

'Mom!!'

"Well, all your tests came back normal. There's just something wrong with that."

'...Every time he goes on the track we have to notify air traffic control.'

"Lasagna anyone?"

He sounds like a hunk, his profile says bulky and athletic

"If I don't escape now, I'm toast!"

'Of course I remember you. You're Parker, the best man from the financial forecast department. Why do you ask?'

"They're about this big."

Stuck in the Conversation Pit of Hell.

"Say, what's that funny smell?"

'Yeah yeah... we'll do lunch next week when it's not so hectic around here.'

"Unaware that the earth had detached itself from his house, Sam steps off the porch

'Hand over all your money or the toaster gets it!'

"That's an unusual, orange jumpsuit!"

"You hate to see this kind of thing."

Fun run vs pitbull parade

'Here's the problem, this wall is made out velcro.'