Ironic Situations Lover Gifts

'We want you to start working from home. And not for us.'

'Yeah yeah... we'll do lunch next week when it's not so hectic around here.'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"Little help?"

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

Twenty years later, Kim turns the tables on her loathsome former English teacher.

Time management office worker

'He thinks we're watering down the cement.'

'The good news is that the person who stole your identity is spending a lot less money than you were.'

'Okay - which one was here first?'

Sex Education: "Here's one we prepared earlier..."

'Oh no! I think I left my wallet in the examination room.'

''Change your underwear.' Hmm, my mother must be in town for a visit.'

Cake Shop: Parking Meter

'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'

'Holy S**t!'

'This motel doesn't have WiFi. So NOW who's going to babysit the kids??'

'To thumb a lift from this one mate, you must be tired of life!'

"Sundials! Hourglasses!"

"I . . . uh. . . had a real pleasant evening, Wendy!"

Later that night, Tim crept into Andy's cave and coconutted him to death.

Yesterday, the warranty on the Wilsons' waterbed expired

"Well, all your tests came back normal. There's just something wrong with that."

'I've prepared this powerpoint presentation about myself which takes precisely the allotted five minutes.'

'That's what I said - a hit and run steamroller...'

'Happy Christmas! I got you a card.' - 'Oh, thanks.' - 'Sorry it's damp... I licked the envelope too hard.' - 'Oh, right.' - 'If you rub it on your face, it's like we're kissing.' - 'Oh, no... quick! Give me your hat!'

The Right Place at the Right Time. I'm sorry, sir, but if you don't have a reservation …

'Of course I remember you. You're Parker, the best man from the financial forecast department. Why do you ask?'

Stuck in the Conversation Pit of Hell.

"OK, let's go over your sales pitch one more time."

'Do you take this woman...'-'Sorry just got a call coming through.'

'Reading between the lines Colin began to suspect that a second date was unlikely!'

"You're not exactly what I was looking for either."

Warning contains Nuts

"Larry?!"