Ironic Situations Lover Mugs

'We want you to start working from home. And not for us.'

'Yeah yeah... we'll do lunch next week when it's not so hectic around here.'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"Little help?"

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

Time management office worker

'He thinks we're watering down the cement.'

'The good news is that the person who stole your identity is spending a lot less money than you were.'

'Okay - which one was here first?'

Sex Education: "Here's one we prepared earlier..."

Cake Shop: Parking Meter

''Change your underwear.' Hmm, my mother must be in town for a visit.'

'Oh no! I think I left my wallet in the examination room.'

'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'

'Holy S**t!'

'This motel doesn't have WiFi. So NOW who's going to babysit the kids??'

'To thumb a lift from this one mate, you must be tired of life!'

"I . . . uh. . . had a real pleasant evening, Wendy!"

Yesterday, the warranty on the Wilsons' waterbed expired

Later that night, Tim crept into Andy's cave and coconutted him to death.

"Well, all your tests came back normal. There's just something wrong with that."

"Sundials! Hourglasses!"

'I've prepared this powerpoint presentation about myself which takes precisely the allotted five minutes.'

'That's what I said - a hit and run steamroller...'

Stuck in the Conversation Pit of Hell.

'Of course I remember you. You're Parker, the best man from the financial forecast department. Why do you ask?'

'Do you take this woman...'-'Sorry just got a call coming through.'

'Reading between the lines Colin began to suspect that a second date was unlikely!'

'Happy Christmas! I got you a card.' - 'Oh, thanks.' - 'Sorry it's damp... I licked the envelope too hard.' - 'Oh, right.' - 'If you rub it on your face, it's like we're kissing.' - 'Oh, no... quick! Give me your hat!'

Warning contains Nuts

"You're not exactly what I was looking for either."

"Larry?!"

Female guest congratulating the bridegroom.

"It was embarrassing. Someone stole my identity and my credit rating improved!"