Ironic Situation Lovers Gifts

'Okay - which one was here first?'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"Little help?"

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

Twenty years later, Kim turns the tables on her loathsome former English teacher.

Time management office worker

'We want you to start working from home. And not for us.'

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

"Don't forget to wash your hands."

'He thinks we're watering down the cement.'

"Online I said I was 'blond and curvy', I didn't say I was a woman!"

'The good news is that the person who stole your identity is spending a lot less money than you were.'

"I do hope you've got enough for a sample, Mr Furse."

''Change your underwear.' Hmm, my mother must be in town for a visit.'

Cake Shop: Parking Meter

'Oh no! I think I left my wallet in the examination room.'

Come hell, or highwater, Eric remains confident that his call will come.

Sex Education: "Here's one we prepared earlier..."

"Sundials! Hourglasses!"

Yesterday, the warranty on the Wilsons' waterbed expired

Later that night, Tim crept into Andy's cave and coconutted him to death.

"Well, all your tests came back normal. There's just something wrong with that."

"I . . . uh. . . had a real pleasant evening, Wendy!"

"After falling into a vat of radioactive lumbar rub - I discovered at the first sign of danger, I develop this amazing and incredible back back!"

'That's what I said - a hit and run steamroller...'

The Right Place at the Right Time. I'm sorry, sir, but if you don't have a reservation …

Stuck in the Conversation Pit of Hell.

'Of course I remember you. You're Parker, the best man from the financial forecast department. Why do you ask?'

'Happy Christmas! I got you a card.' - 'Oh, thanks.' - 'Sorry it's damp... I licked the envelope too hard.' - 'Oh, right.' - 'If you rub it on your face, it's like we're kissing.' - 'Oh, no... quick! Give me your hat!'

"It's these new glasses dear! I thought it was you!"

"You're not exactly what I was looking for either."

"Larry?!"

'Yeah yeah... we'll do lunch next week when it's not so hectic around here.'

Female guest congratulating the bridegroom.

"It was embarrassing. Someone stole my identity and my credit rating improved!"