Ironic Scenario Fan Gifts

"Do you know what time they open love?"

Backfire

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"Trust me. Don't do it."

'Hey, buddy, do you mind lending me a hand? I appear to be stuck in this thing.'

"Nice haircut."

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

'Why, yes, I remember you. May I suggest an undrinkable pinot grigio that goes well with a bad tip?'

"It's Friday the 13th. I feel lucky!"

"It's your ribs. I'm afraid they're delicious."

"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"

Time management office worker

Girl Scout cookies selling the girl scout.

Guide dog with eyesight proplem.

"If you don't start misbehaving, there won't be any Halloween candy for you."

'This is the kind of hat you wear to bed.'

'I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed.'

Man has a dream about a clumsy sheep.

'He's been at it too long. Now, when the bell rings, Dr. Pavlov salivates.'

"You mean you blame your failure in life on not having won the Irish Sweepstakes in 1970?"

"And Moses climbed the mountain day and night searching for some sort of sign from God when suddenly he saw it"

Misery Memoirs Bumper Pack.

Did You Know That...Scientists in Illinois, USA, claim we would live a longer life if we were more like elves?

Noah's lesser known brother.

'This one contains the commandments that will make people ENJOY life! Ha ha, just kidding.'

"God, I hate to fly."

'No thanks. I'm just looking...'

The 'Death Tax'

Ambulance arrives at full hospital

"We're not all grim you know - I'm a happy reaper."

"You can't smoke here but you can bring in a dirty old ash tray to smell."

'Due to all the government bailouts, you'll need to earn more. We're counting on you to bail us out.'