Comedic Retiree Gifts

"Plan B was to supplement my retirement income as a party clown, and that brings me to my loan application."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

No Instruments Please

Lady sees door sign next to ENT: 'Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes'.

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

Jumble Sale

Footballer playing for time

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

Jeff makes some nice jugs.

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

Rollercoaster police chase.

"Just once, can we not talk about politics."

"I got connections. We'll pull a few strings, get you out of here in no time"

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

Searching for condom.

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

asian.babe@mongol.com.

'We moved here so we could have a wide screen.'

'He's so unlucky that he gets into accidents that started happening to someone else.'

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."