Comedic Narrative Fan Gifts

'Whilst you were in the toilet, they descended into the underworld.'

Thomas Keneally

"It's a blood curdling novel about the brutal murder of a publisher who rejected a book about the brutal murder of a publisher..."

"Oh, come on! I've told you, I'm not your 'imaginary friend.' I'm your father."

Gloria's life had been uneventful - until her 40th birthday, when her arms changed into swans.

"Now, see here, I've been wronged! Some no-good do-nothing rat pack got me sick, and I gotta know who!"

Knife-thrower.

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

'Yes, he did turn into a price, but there were complications.'

"Any luck"

"Well, of course you have a heart."

Roadie

"Yes, dear, we're caught in a cycle...but you can hardly call it a vicious cycle."

Dragon roasts a chicken impaled on a knight's sword.

LARGE FRONT

"Boy! That Harvey will do ANYTHING to be the center of attention, won't he?"

'Recommended reading' selection of books e.g.'Team spirit, by Geoffrey Boycott'

News Celeb Divorce: Long-suffering wife tells us of abusive husband, In tomorrow's news - dignified husband tells us of vile grabbing wife.

Please don't tell the cows they are in a cartoon.

'That's a male-pattern bald-faced untruth.'

"Late, as usual."

I thought you wanted me to sell your car.

Mikado characters

"They called him ‘weird’, they called him ‘creepy’, but now they’d call him Sheriff."

'You give him the estimate - you're bigger than he is.'

"Hello?...I recently ordered an Indian carpet, but I think you've sent me a Sicilian one!"

Anne Enright

'Well you said you were hot, so should I turn the fan on or not?'

"That night, Rachel discovered the truth about Ed’s past…" "I’ve had it with these blasted narrative boxes!"

"Good news, all the tests indicate the pain and swelling are a result of wearing your pants too high."

'Mr. Beegley will see you briefly.'

Cats in police lineup