Comedic Health Consultant Gifts

'A good rule of thumb is never to eat anything that won't fit into your microwave.'

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

Caution. Slippery when wet.

'You're either getting smaller or they're giving you bigger pillows.'

A therapist reads to his patient from a joke book.

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

REPORT CARD, 'This is going to be tough to spin.'

You think you have feelings of worthlessness? You ought to see my portfolio!

Flying Ear Specialist

'Hi Honey! I wanted to thank you for taking the baby to day care this morning!'

"If you had only listened to me when you were six and not eaten that dirt."

'I got the idea from a veterinarian friend of mine.'

'We offer counselling for customers with gearbox issues.'

"Would you mind turning down your Walkman just a little!"

'...You are on a waiting list to be ill.'

"We're still figuring out how to monetise him."

"Well, yes, high heels do often cause foot problems..."

"I was gonna try yoga, but I don't actually bend so that's not going to work."

"Doctor! This is not the time for the 'pull my finger' gag!"

"Since this whole COVID thing I've had to adjust my practice."

'I want a divorce, Lenny.'

'I do not think I'm a God. God like, yes. But not God.'

"Ashley wanted to play doctor, but I'm trying to stay out of the health care debate."

'You're not sucking. You're playing.'

'So, you're a serious investor? Lighten up!'

NHS Downloads.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you – hammering away at my credibility."