Comedic Healthcare Explorer Gifts

'This Viagra nasal spray gives me nose bleeds.'

Flying Ear Specialist

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

'They're right.polorized sunglasses do help you see better underwater.'

Caution. Slippery when wet.

'You're either getting smaller or they're giving you bigger pillows.'

'He's lookin' at me!'

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

Lambo

Al, you need to get over your childish desire for a pony. It's not childish, doctor. I only started wanting one last week.

"5 second rule!"

'Only one side effect - colossal pain...'

I told you to take the stairs instead of elevators. Taking escalators isn't meeting me halfway.

'Hi Honey! I wanted to thank you for taking the baby to day care this morning!'

"I have the results of your PET scan and your CT scan. You are not claustrophobic."

'I got the idea from a veterinarian friend of mine.'

"I have to go wee-wee."

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

'I'm afraid the doctor can't see you today. You could visit his web page instead.'

"Would you mind turning down your Walkman just a little!"

'...You are on a waiting list to be ill.'

'I think I'm seeing double again!'

"Wrong hole!"

"Of course I flunked the spelling test. My pencil doesn't have spell check!"

"We're still figuring out how to monetise him."

"I was gonna try yoga, but I don't actually bend so that's not going to work."

Gurus wise words on lost socks

"Doctor! This is not the time for the 'pull my finger' gag!"

'I still haven't built up a tolerance for medical co-payments.'

'A good rule of thumb is never to eat anything that won't fit into your microwave.'

Garden stagger

"Travel book says do not land on Earth unless you have your own health insurance."