Comedic Healthcare Aficionado Gifts

'I do not think I'm a God. God like, yes. But not God.'

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

"We're going to run some tests: bloodwork, a cat-scan and the S.A.T.'s."

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

Caution. Slippery when wet.

"I've decided to go a different way for our new health plan."

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

'You're either getting smaller or they're giving you bigger pillows.'

"He's a whiz kid."

"You've got a bad case of Docwantsa Newkar."

Meds Toast

'He's lookin' at me!'

'Don't worry! If your self diagnosis turns out to be correct this time, this will take care of it.'

"You have what we are going to call Klitson's Disease, Mr. Klitson."

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

Good News, Bad News - Save the Leg.

"5 second rule!"

'Try not to think about your car-parking charges.'

I told you to take the stairs instead of elevators. Taking escalators isn't meeting me halfway.

'Uh-oh. This doesn't bode well.'

'Hi Honey! I wanted to thank you for taking the baby to day care this morning!'

Flying Ear Specialist

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

"It's a simple stress test - I do your blood work, send it to the lab, and never get back to you with the results."