Comedic Surgery Enthusiast Gifts

Breast Reduction Clinic.

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

Jumble Sale

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'

Anatomy.

Several of the med students had been cheerleaders when they were undergrads.

'If you want them balanced, it'll be an extra 250 dollars.'

'She had a boob job halfway through the sitting!'

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

"Well, we saved this attorney. Some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin."

He really puts his heart into it!

'Recent studies have demonstrated that what we believed were ritual sacrifices to Gods, were unsuccessful attempts to do breast implant surgeries."'

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

"5 second rule!"

'Whew! Five surgeries in one day! Well, let's try to make this last one end on a happy note!'

'Thanks for allowing these high school students to watch your surgery. Check it out on YouTube!'

'You sure we can't afford another ladder?'

'I knew there was another book in him!'

'Having limited funds, Irwin goes with the less expensive chest hair transplant.'

"Mr Brown. Are you in for a triple bypass or an ingrown toenail?"

'He really put his heart into it.'

Neuro Surgery. Staff only. Sorry, that took longer than I expected --- He has a lot of nerve!

"Although a face transplant is theoretically possible you still can't have Brad Pitt's."

'Laser Surgery While You Wait.'

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."