Comedic Health Observer Gifts

Missing The Problem

NHS Downloads.

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"My computer just texted me."

'Wow! That yogapilates has really paid off!'

Runner going through hurdles.

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

"Hey! This is news."

Glimpses One Dollar

"Don't think of it as hell. . . just think of it as a normally recurring seasonal weather pattern."

'I'm knitting you sweater... do you want it too big or too small?'

Men and Women's changing rooms

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

Screenwasher cleaning buggy.

Flying Ear Specialist

"What's the big deal? All these politicians talk about a health care plan! I have a health care plan!"

"Okay, but just a quick kiss, Joey... You did see my father's gun collection, right?"

"What they hell are we looking at."

Next! (liposuction specialist)

"You're prediabetic. I can't help you unless you decide to eat less sugar - or more sugar."

'...You are on a waiting list to be ill.'

'Mismatched Mantras'

'It's just a summer complaint. You'll be as good as new by fall.'

The Problem

"Mom said to make sure you don't goof up shopping online."

'There, but for liposuction, go I.'

'My parents are having a fight right now.'

"Well, yes, high heels do often cause foot problems..."

"I was gonna try yoga, but I don't actually bend so that's not going to work."