Comedic Duo Gifts

"You lick, I'll dry."

"April Fools'! You should’ve seen the look on your face!"

"And FYI, Iggy has night terrors."

"Darling, I have a crushing spinal pain and may never stand up again."

Shelly and Marv took Most Hirsute Husband for the third year running with their sensational 'scrub the floor' routine.

Whoops! I've brought the wrong husband home from the shops.

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

Stand-up Romcom

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

"Push harder - I still can't see the scale."

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

I thought I was proposing to Sally, but evidently I was challenging her to a twenty year series of debates.

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

Double Saxophone

'Do you Duane, paternity suit notwithstanding, take Diane...'

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

"The blow drier is broken."

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

Lady sees door sign next to ENT: 'Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes'.

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

'The oceans are vast, yet we never go anywhere!'

Jumble Sale

"You should always stretch before engaging in strenuous activity."

Footballer playing for time

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

'Things haven't been the same since the alien abduction.'

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

'Act your shoe size, not your age.'

Jeff makes some nice jugs.

Applecart - "Its's just there as a reminder!"

'I gave him the best years of my life. That's true. Then we got married.'

"Sounds like you've both been pushing each others' buttons."