Comedic Companion Pillows

Diving Cat.

Why Men Get Angry and Why Women Get Angry

Airport Security.

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

'So much for your new Satnav!'

'You had better eat those intestinal organs or there's no dessert for you!'

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

'You said I should check back with you if I didn't get any better. . .'

"How can we get away from it all if you're bringing it all with you?"

'Things haven't been the same since the alien abduction.'

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

Touring Holidays - On the P***

'The oceans are vast, yet we never go anywhere!'

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

"Listen, and I'll explain it to you again..."

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

"He's my escort, and he's a teddy bear."

"I touched another squirrel's nuts. Any other questions?"

'I'm sick and tired of begging!'

'Have you put her on the strict diet I prescribed?'

"My mating dances were unsuccessful, so I tried reciting poetry: didn't work either..."

'We're lost - I told ye to take the low road.'

'That holiday I booked for my wife to the Galapagos Islands? She found her way back, so can we try another destination?'

'The answer is yes - I'll sign your pre-nuptial agreement.'

"Well, I think they fit perfectly."

"You ever notice how heavy your head is?"

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

"Yes, who do I punch in the face for overbooking my flight?"

'How can I miss you if you won't go away!'

"Thar someone from the IRS blows!"