Comedic Relationship Explorer Pillows

'There's someone else, isn't there, Angela'

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"Why don't you find a museum!"

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

Diving Cat.

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

'Trust me, she can't fail to notice you now...'

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

"This is just SO like him. For years, I begged him to straighten up and fly right, and when he finally DID, it was right into a picture window!"

"Arthur, I need my space."

"Frank, I want you to try antidepressants."

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

Heart to heart talk.

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

Waterfall of Disappointment

Counseling $10. This end up. I think we're making progress. I want to kill you both.

Worm Bed

"Mom, this is Sarah, the friend I was telling you about."

Strangers. Friends. Lovers. Spouses.

Monogamy

"Your grandma and I have decided to live together."

"This is never going to work—you're a tree!"

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."