Comedic Relationships Pillows

'Three guys. Is that all you've had?'

'Do you have any books about men who become alcoholics addicted to internet porn because their wives are always reading?'

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

'Do you Duane, paternity suit notwithstanding, take Diane...'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

Dan and Irene's 'communication problems' improve, thanks to Richard, their couples therapist.

'The oceans are vast, yet we never go anywhere!'

'Things haven't been the same since the alien abduction.'

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

'Your dinner's in the microwave.'

"....'Sickness, health? ... better, worse... richer, poorer?'... how about leaving me some wiggle room!"

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

Husband electronic tagging control centre - Screen reads 'Pub'

"Al, are you certain that this guy has the authority to marry us?"

'Don't worry about me, mom, I'll be fine as long as you keep working!'

"Honey, I'm home."

"My dad really went ballistic! I'm not grounded...I'm under house arrest!"

"Hello?- Anyone here?"

"Well, I think they fit perfectly."

'That holiday I booked for my wife to the Galapagos Islands? She found her way back, so can we try another destination?'

"Try to remember to flex your ankles and if possible walk up and down the room."

"I said I wanted to see you in skimpy clothes..."

"Okay, but just a quick kiss, Joey... You did see my father's gun collection, right?"

Searching for condom.

'The answer is yes - I'll sign your pre-nuptial agreement.'

"You ever notice how heavy your head is?"

'How can I miss you if you won't go away!'

'How about some marital counselling, hon? Should we grab some while we're in this aisle?' 'No, we're fine on that.'

'My dad warned me about fellas like you!'

'Why don't you put your money in the Bank, instead of stuffing it under the mattress?'

'Hello, George? Yes, have you seen my husband? I'm guessing he's in-between the couch cushions again.'

"You don't need tech support. You have those on backwards."